Tag Archives: gmail

Nigerian Princess, eat your heart out

1 Nov

Opening my inbox bright and early on a Monday morning I was graced with the usual presence of blog subscriptions, a few short and wonderful emails from friends overseas, the occasional spam or newsletter… But to my surprise, I had also recieved an email from a mysterious Colonel Benjamin F Davies, who had contacted me from his gmail account, offering me a cut of $20 million in gold and cash he says he found in a cave in Iraq. Of course.

Before your laughter subsides, it reads a little something like this…

From 1st Brigade -col Benjamin F Davies:

This is to write to your notice that I found out gold and revenue, amount to $20 million in a tunnel in Iraq, which I made an open declaration of the gold, but I hid the revenue, as I successfully secured the revenue with a finance company. I am hereby contacting you in assistance to bring out this revenue from the finance company, as I will present you as the original owner of the revenue this will enable the revenue to be released to you by the company to avoid the notice that I am directly involved. Which means I will part with you 20% for you and 10% for any expenses the success of the transaction may incur, while 70% for me.

Thank you for your cooperation

Col. Benjamin F Davies

Well, that just blew me away, naturally. How generous. Just a few minor question before I hand over all my bank details… A few problems forseen in the colonels delightful offer. You know, aside from the bleeding fact you’d have to be an idiot to reply to one of these emails. But couldn’t resist the morning laugh in a harmless look.

Let’s muse along here for the colonels sake:
1. Can he just take the money? Doesn’t it belong to the Iraqi people?

2. If Col. Davies is an American citizen, why does he need me, in Australia to help? Can’t he work with a resource on base?

3. So obviously this colonel character found me by no doubt heinous mean of surfing the interwebs, but shouldn’t he be focusing on ending the fighting in Iraq than (a) stealing gold from the caves and (b) reading my blog or floating about on twitter?

And lastly,
4. Won’t I have to pay tax in this sum? I don’t want it to screw up my tax bracket now.

Hmmm… the odds just aren’t panning put too nicely. I’m thinking I might just have to decline. But wish you all the luck somewhere else… like Cluedo, Colonel.