“You can close your eyes to the things you do not want to see, but you cannot close your heart to the things you do not want to feel.”
So its 2010. What a year ‘that’ was. I came a long way from who I was, to who I really am.
Self discovery. A year of travel, a year of love, a big year of breaking and a total year of self realisation.
I learnt what I really want in my life, what I like, don’t like and how to have a good time and take what I want without thinking of everyone else first for a change. That’s right, no more apologies for nothing.
There were mistakes made and decisions, if I could make again I would do differently. But I wouldn’t change them now.
Now I have learnt every lesson that has been so graciously hand delivered good or bad – Thank you kindly to those playing at home. …And they’ve truly contributed to who and what I want to be.
I don’t yet know what I want from this year ahead and yes, it kind of scares me a little for a change. For a big damn change. I actaully feel like I have woken up from a long sleep and the bed is icy cold.
Its time to get moving on with things, learning new lessons, techniques and styles of life to fit me. Not you. not him. Not them.
Im not quite the person I was last year and Im still trying to make that work for everything around me. Trying to get others to understand that this is me, is actually a little more difficult than it sounds.
I am designing again and it feels right. The work is real, no more thrilling than expected but Im determined to climb this wirey, long ladder and find whatever is at the top waiting for me. …And that ladies and gentlemen excites ‘ME’.
Soldier on. This is who I am and this year, wherever the hell it came from has a
theme. Fighting for what I want. Who I am and what I need.
I’ll get there anyway I see fit. There’s no turning back because here it is.
You just know now. You just do.
The Better Project is something I stumbled across neatly whilst surfing my vast array of blog listings and links and clicks or what have you. But this is one neat little project worth another mention.
The Better Project harnesses a sort of collaborative power of teh interwebs to help make anything better. Litterally anything.
It takes just a few minutes to set up your own project for instance, invite others and start sharing and discussing ideas around topics and interests you care about and want to see change towards. ..Such as coffee…Becuase I had a *nasty* one on the weekend.
But all bad coffees aside, thinking about the way this works though, it could become a good platform for companies and programs or places to generate feedback and actually listen to the audience at home…or for something/someone new to fill a space where so much is collectively missing.
Anyway, enough babble… have a look.
The Better Project.
Rummaging through a few old photo albums over the Christmas period has got me thinking about where we have come from and how people progressively change in a expedient attempt to search for their true calling, their own choices or dreams and how change itself effects not only an individual, but the entire outlook on your life and where you have come from.
I love that my parents can still look at these photos, laugh and joke about it all together, even though things have changed. Completely.
I spent a small amount of time in my hometown over these holidays and things felt somewhat different.
While it was still the place I grew up, where we would walk down to the Muarry river banks and swim through the reeds or the place where we would spend countless nights laughing in each others backyards, plotting and scheming about random nefarious things;
it – or ‘I’ for that matter, had changed.
I looked around at a familiar setting that felt somewhat detached and hazy to the person I was and had become. I had definitely outgrown the shoes that fit over the years, into something bigger and much more comfortable.
Even though this was a place where I had come from, it’s not me, nor does it define the person I was or the person that I am becoming today.
Looking back at these images makes me smile, makes my family laugh and the stories all start to roll in about ‘the times when’ and the ‘remember how we used to’.
These images are simply fragments of who we were – the past – of a life in making. Yet will continue to be an adventurous story that each of us could never forget.