2010 feels different.

2 Jan

“You can close your eyes to the things you do not want to see, but you cannot close your heart to the things you do not want to feel.”

So its 2010. What a year ‘that’ was. I came a long way from who I was, to who I really am.
Self discovery. A year of travel, a year of love, a big year of breaking and a total year of self realisation.
I learnt what I really want in my life, what I like, don’t like and how to have a good time and take what I want without thinking of everyone else first for a change. That’s right, no more apologies for nothing.
There were mistakes made and decisions, if I could make again I would do differently. But I wouldn’t change them now.
Now I have learnt every lesson that has been so graciously hand delivered good or bad – Thank you kindly to those playing at home. …And they’ve truly contributed to who and what I want to be.

I don’t yet know what I want from this year ahead and yes, it kind of scares me a little for a change. For a big damn change. I actaully feel like I have woken up from a long sleep and the bed is icy cold.
Its time to get moving on with things, learning new lessons, techniques and styles of life to fit me. Not you. not him. Not them.
Im not quite the person I was last year and Im still trying to make that work for everything around me. Trying to get others to understand that this is me, is actually a little more difficult than it sounds.

I am designing again and it feels right. The work is real, no more thrilling than expected but Im determined to climb this wirey, long ladder and find whatever is at the top waiting for me. …And that ladies and gentlemen excites ‘ME’.

Soldier on. This is who I am and this year, wherever the hell it came from has a
theme. Fighting for what I want. Who I am and what I need.
I’ll get there anyway I see fit. There’s no turning back because here it is.

You just know now. You just do.

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